I killed myself – You didn’t notice

I killed myself – You didn’t notice

Let’s imagine the gun I placed under my jaw had worked properly. Instead of a bullet jamming, it made it’s way through the barrel and pierced my skin and exited somewhere on my skull. Then what.

Eventually, one of my parents would have called the police that evening when they couldn’t find me. Eventually, the police would have found me on the property a couple hundred yards from the house. Then my parents would inform my school and teachers would inform my classmates.

This is the scary part. It would seem confusing to those who knew me that I would take my own life. I was quiet in school. I didn’t like to draw attention to myself and I always studied and made good grades. I was kind to everyone and had nice sweet friends.

As a classmate or teacher, you probably wouldn’t recognize any signs. After all, I did try to kill myself and not a thought crossed anybody’s mind that I was even considering it. I wasn’t seeking attention. I merely tried to quietly handle things without upsetting anyone. Hidden behind my smiles, was a broken heart that was rarely was loved. My homework was always completed because I wanted someone to be proud of me. I always wore pants and long sleeves so you couldn’t see the marks and bruises my parents would leave on me. I skipped lunch because I didn’t want my classmates to know I had “free lunch”. I would disappear everyday on a school bus that would take me home to misery then I would reappear the next day with a calm demeanor. I was just an average ordinary unnoticeable.

How do we respond to this? How do we recognize a troubled teenager that isn’t exhibiting behavioral concerns or any other common suicidal signs. How do we outsmart the youth that are trying to outsmart the adults?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *